Zugunruhe: Helping great people get [good] things done: Zoog.un.roo.ee

Confused by the economy?

A friend recently shared this video with me. It provides one of the best, most lucid explanations of what's going on with the economy I've seen. Thought perhaps you'd enjoy it, too.

How to Receive Feedback

Feedback is a two way street. One person proffers, the other receives. There is an art to delivering feedback. Likewise, knowing how to field the comments that come your way is an art unto itself. Here are some helpful tips for how to receive feedback with grace and aplomb.

• Breathe. Yep, the first thing you forget—especially if it feels like you’re being criticized—is to breathe. So take a deep breath and get a hold of yourself. You cannot control what other people do. You can, however, control your response. Steady yourself. Breathe.

• Remember, even when it’s about something you did, it’s not about you. I learned this one from Oprah, oddly enough. Oprah has related how during the infamous Texas beef trial, the attorney for the cattle interests said all sorts of horrible things about her. And while he was spewing all that stuff, she had this ah-hah moment during which she realized he was not talking about her—in part, because he did not know her. When someone expresses upset or anger to you, they are sharing their responses, perceptions, and thoughts—and sometimes those responses, perceptions, and thoughts include you. That’s all. No matter how personal their responses may be, it’s not actually about you—that is, they are not able to see, know, and impact your essential underlying being. So it’s perfectly okay for you to step back and be an observer, listen carefully, and not join in their upset by taking what’s being said personally. That stance allows you to…

• Listen for the underlying message. Under upset, anger, or harsh words (or even just garden variety feedback), is a real message. Sometimes the message is that the person cares. Sometimes, what’s being expressed is fear—fear of loss, fear of the unknown. Often, there is another, deeper message beyond the words that are being spoken. By taking the time to be an objective observer and listening, you have a very good chance to discover what that underlying message is.

• While you’re listening for the underlying message, don’t try to add value. What I mean by adding value is don’t problem solve, don’t explain, don’t make excuses. Be still. Allow what comes. Then, simply say “thanks for telling me that” and stop talking.

• Own what’s yours. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, what part of this belongs to me? Be rigorously honest here. If you’re at fault, apologize. (Note: “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not an apology.) If someone else is at fault and you have responsibility, apologize.

• If appropriate, you may want to ask what is wanted. However, it is not always necessary to act. Perhaps more than you realize, people simply want to be heard. Once they’re heard, and you have communicated to them that they’re heard, they can let go of the situation and go on their merry way. Don’t underestimate the value of allowing people to express their message.

Of course, there are times when the real message is that someone is just being difficult. People can say and do things merely for meanness or lack of manners or want of self-control. In this age of faceless communication, it is very easy for folks to spout off and deliver meaningless and brutally harsh criticism. And that brings me to the last bit…

• Let it go. There are times when you won’t be open to feedback, for whatever reason. Perhaps the feedback is destructive or ambiguous or ill-founded. Sometimes, you can’t or don’t want to be bothered. There are lots of reasons why you might not be able to act on feedback you receive. In those cases, use the delete button—metaphorically and literally. Just let it go.

When you make an effort to give useful, constructive feedback and receive what comes your way with grace, you set a powerful example of professional conduct. When you refuse to get sucked into someone else's upset, set and maintain appropriate boundaries, and act like a responsible human being, people will notice. Good things will happen. And that’s the best sort of feedback of all.

How to deliver feedback

From time to time I get an email from someone who wants to be helpful by making a suggestion or letting me know what something isn’t working quite right. Sometimes it’s a broken link or a podcast recording that didn’t turn out right. Sometimes it’s quite a lot more. Everyone once in a while, there’s some real upset behind the feedback I receive. And with some regularity, feedback is delivered in such a way that it lands with a resounding thump, a bit like the sound a lead balloon might make.

You may receive feedback from time to time that doesn’t land very well. And like everyone else, you may have delivered some feedback that didn’t get much lift. So how can you deliver feedback that carries its message with grace? Here are a few easy to apply techniques.

• Begin your message with a salutation. It’s old fashioned, I know, but even when you don’t know the name of the person who is reading your message, you can still begin with “Hi!” or “Hello.” Greeting your reader is a way of saying, “Hi, I know a real person is reading this, so I’m polite enough to say hello before launching into what I have to say.”

• Start the body of the message with some context. In two or three sentences, explain who you are and what you’ve encountered or have in mind.

• Talk about situations and things, not people. When you aim for talking about a situation, it’s much harder to offend someone and have them take what you’re saying personally. Compare the following. Which would you rather respond to?

Aimed at a person: “Your software sucks.”
About a situation: “The software didn’t work as expected.”

• Keep your comments brief and to the point. More than two paragraphs and you’ve written too much.

• Thank the person who read your email. All too often, people forget to say thanks.

• Use a closing to your message, like Best Wishes, followed by your name. Again, this is a way of demonstrating that you are cognizant of how behave in polite society, like shaking hands and making eye contact appropriately.

And here are a few don’ts

• Don’t start a message with something on the order of “I don’t mean to criticize but…” This is a signal that criticism is on the way. Criticism is harping; constructive feedback is what you’re aiming for.
• Don’t whine.
• Don’t assume you have complete understanding what the problem is, what the motivation was, or what the True Solution is. You have only a tiny part of the picture and you don’t know what constraints people are operating under. Be polite. Be nice. It’s not hard.

In the end, taking the time to deliver feedback and comments is only worthwhile when there is some hope of that information being received and considered. By delivering feedback with grace, you’re likely to get a similarly graceful response.

Speeding Mentoring: Tim Berry of Palo Alto Software

Yesterday, I had the pleasure and honor of listening to Tim Berry, President and founder of Palo Alto Software. Palo Alto makes Business Plan Pro and Marketing Plan Pro—these are the best in the business. Tim was kind enough to come up to Corvallis for Speaker Lunch, which is hosted by Chris Nordyke. The idea is to bring in folks who can act as mentors for entrepreneurially minded folks like me. We get to hear absolutely wonderful, dynamic, accomplished people, ask them questions, and reap the benefits of their experience. Yesterday, my mentor was Tim Berry.

Tim passed on a lot of great stuff. He shared his journey with us—from Haight-Asbury in 1966 (what a time that must have been!) to Notre Dame, Mexico, Palo Alto, and finally to Eugene, where he lives now. Tim combined his interests, strengths, and talents over the years to create a highly successful, family-owned and run business. Now, his daughter is CEO of Palo Alto Software and Tim’s job is to write, give talks, and be creative. His latest creative endeavor is his new book: The Plan-As-You-Go Business Plan.

One of the main points that Tim made was that plans are always wrong. To me, that means that we make plans but life intervenes. The map ain’t the territory and the territory is always changing. Therefore, plan is a verb, not a noun. Planning counts and it’s essential but a plan—a static, hard copy document—is simply a tool. That’s one of the beauties of the concept of plan-as-you-go.

The analogy time Tim used was that of an axe. A twenty-five year old axe has had the handle replaced 17 times and the axe head replaced five. Yet, it’s the still the same old axe. To make sure your business plan acts like that good, reliable, sharp axe, you’ve got to keep it in shape. As a tool, a plan has to be used and kept sharp, updated and maintained.

In his blog post today, Tim reflected on his chat with us at Speaker Lunch. (Check out what he had to say here.) I appreciate Tim’s wisdom. He’s a stand up guy who really gets it. And his passion, delight, and good nature shine through his twinkling eyes loud and clear. And he’s right—it’s not just passion, persistence, and perseverance that gets us through. It’s family, relationships, and luck, too. We get blessed by circumstances that are out of our control and even the hard times can turn out to be precious gifts. If you don’t’ believe me, just ask Tim.

Marketing Monday: “The World’s Most Practical Small Business Marketing Guide”

It’s a windy, stormy day in the Pacific Northwest. But the winds of change have been blowing here at Zugunruhe for a few weeks now. Over a month ago, I began the process of investigating an opportunity that would allow Zugunruhe to offer new services and products to our clients. Today, I am proud and privileged to announce that I have been chosen as a Duct Tape Marketing Authorized Coach.

The folks at Duct Tape Marketing are really choosy when it comes to taking on new coaches. I was interviewed by Matt Scott, the Director of Coaching & Recruiting for the Duct Tape Marketing Coaching Program. Matt is a veteran of the Special Forces and let me tell you, he is the real deal. After a rigorous interview that reminded a little bit of my final PhD exam, Matt gave me the nod and let me know I’d made The Cut.

I spent the next two weeks on due diligence, making absolutely certain that taking on the role of Duct Tape Marketing Coach was the best thing for me, my company, and my clients. Here’s some of what I learned.

• Duct Tape Marketing Authorized Coaches receive tons of training. Training that is delivered in person by both John Jantsch, the creator of Duct Tape Marketing, and Matt Scott.
• People who use it say that Duct Tape Marketing system is simple and easy to follow, practical, and both economical and profitable.
• John Jantsch is a down to earth practical guy who really cares about small businesses and puts out great work. For example, John’s blog is one of the world’s most influential business blogs (based on Technorati rankings, it’s number six).
• Lots of big names in the business world have identified Duct Tape Marketing as a fantastic way for small business to improve their marketing effectiveness. The Duct Tape Marketing System has been named a top ranking marketing favorite by Harvard Business Review and Forbes Business. It’s been featured in Entrepreneur Magazine, The New York Times, and the Wall Street Journal, to name a few.

In my own survey, I learned that people in my target market most need referrals, qualified leads, better marketing materials. Duct Tape Marketing provides all those and more. John has created tools and courses galore that I can provide to my clients as a Duct Tape Coach. Furthermore, the system is flexible so that I can customize my offerings for the people I love to work with most: small business owners and social entrepreneurs--people who want to do good and do well at the same time.

Although I’m taking a new role, I will continue to offer the same sorts of coaching services I always have--I love working with people to help them work more efficiently and be more productive, sort through options to make decisions, set goals and follow through to get the results you want. And if you love the blog the way it’s been, don’t fret. Marketing and small business will be featured on Mondays and the rest of the week, you’ll see the same sorts of posts you’re used to.

One feature of Marketing Monday I hope everyone will enjoy is Zugunruhe's Duct Tape Awards. To start things off, here are the Duct Tape recipients this week.

A big shiny roll of silver duct tape goes to the Wyoming Library System for their incredibly sticky new ad campaign. Ever seen the mud-flap girl? Well, she’s got brains as well as big…um… Well, let’s just say, she’s no dumb blonde!

A green roll of the great sticky stuff goes to Big Ass Fans. Big Ass Fans makes, as you might guess, really large fans. Gigantic fans. Industrial sized, honking, big-ass fans. What makes them cool--pardon the pun--is their very clever take on green marketing. “A convenient answer” to “an inconvenient truth,” no doubt. Makes me wish I had room for one of these big mamas at my house!

 

Finally, don't forget that throughout the month of December, you can help Zugunruhe Gives Back to four deserving causes. Simply subscribe to our newsletter and we'll donate 1$ to charity.

Click here to sign up for our Email Newsletter & donate 1$ to charity.

For Email Marketing you can trust

I Don't Want You to Like Me

I’ve been contemplating some changes recently. Big changes that will allow my business to evolve. To offer some new services. To grow. To differentiate.

If you met me in the grocery store, I wouldn’t really stand out. There’s nothing about me that’s particularly distinctive. Successful businesses, however, must stand out from their competition. They have to do and be distinctive. But many small businesses are a lot like me--they don’t stand out in crowds.

I was reading John Jantsch’s Duct Tape Marketing recently. John talks about what he calls “copycat marketing.” Pick up your local yellow pages, he says, and you’ll see that every business in a particular category looks much like every other one. The ads are so much alike that you might not be able to tell one company from another if the names were removed. He says, “[You wouldn’t] want to be different. What if people noticed?”

John was being facetious. Most business do want to be noticed, to stand out from their competition. But looking different is scary. We’re taught from a very young age that different is bad. Different gets picked on. Different doesn’t get a date to the prom. Different isn’t popular.

A while back the authors of Made to Stick took on what looking different means to businesses in their column in Fast Company. Companies that are brave, crazy, or edgy enough to really polarize reactions, they say, often get big payoffs. Scott Palmer, celebrated theater director, says much the same thing. The worst thing someone can say about one of his plays, he told me, was that they “liked it.” Love it. Hate it. But like is empty of emotion. Like doesn’t create a memorable experience.

I often grouse about really bad TV ads (I particularly dislike the “Messing with Sasquatch” series). I am not in the market for beef jerky, but I have to admit, those asinine ads are sticky, even if what sticks is how much I dislike the premise that being a jerk is funny or entertaining. The creators of these ads would probably be pleased to know that I dislike them. They’re not selling to me. They’re selling to some other demographic who thinks their ads are hilarious. And that would be the point. Jack Link’s Jerky is undoubtedly enjoying some success because they’ve managed to stand out from the crowd and risk being disliked to be memorable.

It’s hard to let go of wanting to be liked, I know. But being liked is empty. Dull. Safe. Being loved requires risk. To be loved means being yourself, authentic, real, genuine, different. Standing out in someone’s eyes. Personally, I prefer being loved over merely being liked. Being loved is risky. But the payoff is priceless.

How to Listen When Listening Isn't Fun

In business and in life, you interact with people all the time. Some are friendly and others are not. Some folks may be downright hostile. And all the while, you are the common denominator in every situation. “Wherever you go, there you are.” Yet when people treat you a certain way, it’s not necessarily about you. It’s about them. Their perceptions. Their experiences. Their expectations. Knowing this doesn’t let you off the hook. You have to be accountable for what you are and say and do. But in the end, you control only one person’s responses: yours.

Your job is to set up interactions with your customers, business associates, kids, and everyone else in your world in such a way that everyone has a chance to respond to the real you, not some idea or expectation of you. At the same time, you need to be able to respond to the real “them.” How do you do that?  Simple. By listening. Here’s a simple step by step.

First, hear with naked curiosity. This means to listen to every word and observe every gesture and expression with nothing added or subtracted. What is being said? What is not being said? Don’t be afraid to be silent and just listen. If the person stops talking, make sure they’re truly finished speaking. It’s a good idea to ask “Is there anything else you’d like to tell me?” before moving ahead. Remain in this phase of the conversation until the other person is clear. If you’re not willing to stay in this phase until the other person is clean, consider whether or not you should be having the conversation at all. (The answer may be ‘no.’)

Next, ask carefully phrased questions. Here, engage your interest and ask questions to learn more, not to lead, confront, or challenge. If you don’t understand what was said, this is your chance to clarify. For example, you could ask: “What are you most concerned about?” or “Help me to understand what you mean by…” If you’re having a difficult conversation (like dealing with a hostile customer or a teenager), remember to stay focused on curiosity and information gathering. (And don’t forget to breathe.)

Third, make sure you know what the situation means to them. People rarely get disconnected from what happened or facts about a situation. What they usually get lost in is what it all means. If you don’t know what it means to them, it doesn’t matter what it means to you. (For you Steven Covey fans, this is “seek first to understand before seeking to be understood.”) One way to learn what the situation means to the other person is to say “Tell me about why this is important to you” or simply ask “What does this mean to you?” Listen very carefully to the answers. You may find yourself back in step one (hearing with naked curiosity). Remain in this phase as long as necessary for you to truly ‘get’ what the other person is saying. And if you’re having trouble understanding, whatever you do, don’t fake understanding.

Once you’ve got an understanding of the other person’s point of view, ask them what they want. You might say, “What would you like to see happen?” When you hear their answer, you have three choices: say yes, make a counteroffer, decline outright. Depending on your situation, you’ll need to carefully think your response through. It is perfectly OK, to say “I need to think about this” before coming back with an answer.

In business situations, however, as long as what they want is not illegal, immoral, or personally compromising, do your best to give it to them. Remember, this is not about you. It’s about them. When you genuinely evaluate someone else’s needs and act accordingly, you’ve heaped on tons of value. In his extremely popular books, Jeffrey Gitomer says “give value first.” He’s not kidding. You will build the best relationships with customers and business associates when you put their needs ahead of yours. If you can’t say ‘yes,’ say why, and offer to negotiate.

Regardless of how you choose to handle what they want, summarize what you’ve heard and understood. This is the most important part of the equation. People want to be heard. When you can accurately and sincerely demonstrate that you’ve heard someone, you are one of the few people in their world who is actually listening. You will stand out as someone special immediately. If the person has expressed their feelings to you, you should acknowledge those, too. That’s as simple as “It sounds like you feel ___ about this. Is that accurate?”

Finally, be faithful on the follow up. It’s not enough to listen, understand, and ask what someone needs or wants. You’ve got to be reliable. This is true in every relationship in your world. Reliability begets trust. Trust opens doors to better, more meaningful relationships.

Ultimately, becoming a skilled listener is a bit of a paradox. Listening gives you the chance to be yourself and enjoy having people respond to you instead some idea they have or a perception of you. Listening gives you insight into who people really are. To paraphrase the great Yogi Berra: you can hear a lot by just listening.

This We Believe

Perhaps you’re familiar with the NPR series, This I Believe. As I am planning revisions to my website, I’ve been thinking about the founding principles of Zugunruhe as a company. As part of the process, I thought I’d share some of the statements I came up with to describe what I believe and how Zugunruhe is operated.

We believe in continuous, life-long learning and improvement.

Zugunruhe was founded to serve people who want to grow. Grow intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. People who want to grow businesses and non-profits, companies and careers, children and gardens, joy and works of lasting significance. We serve people who are not satisfied with the status quo but instead want to move forward to make their lives, and the world, a better place to be.

Personally, I believe in life-long learning, not just for knowledge’s sake alone, but also for the benefits it brings. Everyday, I work to learn something new. I started this as a child when I caught on to the joy of telling my dad what I’d found out and seeing his pleasure in learning something from me. Not only does learning allow the learner to teach and entertain others but continuous learning is good for your brain. The more those connections are used and strengthened, the more likely it is that you’ll have a good memory for a lifetime. But that’s not all.

I believe in continuous learning. Practically every time I learn something new, I am called upon to transmit that information to the individuals and organizations Zugunruhe serves. A few days ago, I started to listen to a podcast on sales. The subject was closing sales and I thought, “I don’t really need this right now.” Sure enough, that afternoon a coaching client needed some advice on closing and I learned an important lesson. I may not need the information but somebody else will. It’s up to me to soak all that knowledge up continuously to be prepared when the need arises. (That’s why I followed the inclination to update my CPR certification last week; you never know!)

Finally, I believe in improvement. Always. Anything that can be done well can be done better. That’s why I’m always looking for ways to improve my performance as a coach, writer, educator, daughter, wife, dog-owner, you name it. Not because I seek perfection--that’s unattainable. But because I have a strong sense of untapped potential and promise within. It’s my mission in life to manifest potential and promise--yours as well my own.

Thus, it is Zugunruhe’s commitment that we will never rest on our laurels; we will always seek continuous, life-long learning and improvement. Because that’s what we believe in.

Business blog: Time for a Facelift?

I was talking to one of my clients about starting a blog for his business. We talked about all the usual things that people think of when they talk about writing a blog: what software to use, how often to post, what he might write about. Then he said something that got my attention: “I’ve never really seen a good business blog.” Ouch.

Maybe this client has never read my blog. Or worse, maybe he has. But his comment got me to thinking. What does a good business blog look like? And does mine need a facelift?

To begin to answer these important questions, I cruised over to Brian Brown’s blog: Pajama Market--Small Business Blog of the Day. Brian’s been checking out lots of business blogs. He has a distinctly warm style, that Brian does, and knows his subject really, really well. Brian defines two sorts of business blogs: industry versus business-specific. An “industry” blog is what I’ve been writing. My posts focus on things I’m interested and often revolve around a theme I’m grappling with. For example, when you see lots of posts on David Allen’s Getting Things Done, you can pretty much bet that’s what I’m working on in my own day to day.  A business-specific blog is geared more around the business itself. (To see a really superb example of a business-specific blog, check out Rich Brook’s Flyte Blog.)

So dear reader, what do you think I ought to do? Stay industry or go business-specific? What needs changing? What should stay the same? You are the one that comes back and reads what I write, God bless your soul! Tell me what it is you’d like to see. Change is in the air, y’all. Speak up!

Speak Up!

Front of the room speaking is one of the most powerful means of influence available to you. If you’re in sales or marketing of any kind, standing in front of a group gives you an instant advantage and a room full of leads. Not only that, but you’re in a position of being an authority, and expert, and if you play your cards right, you can come away with appointments or even close some sales.

The problem with front of the room speaking is that people are rarely trained to do it. You’ve probably seen more than your fair share of really bad talks. I know I have. In a recent article for Knowledge@Wharton, public speaking coach Richard Greene gave several keys to speaking success. Here’s my executive summary (click here for the full article).

Connect. You are not in front of the room solely to give information. You could do that by email. You are standing in front of people to make a connection with them. Look people in the eye. Slow down. Get out from behind the podium. Talk to individuals, not the crowd.

Be real. Authenticity speaks louder than words. Likewise, being a fake will drown out your message completely.

Slow down. Most people speak too rapidly. When you have an important point to make, pause before you make it. That pause signals to your listener that something is about to happen. Greene says, “…the difference between a good speaker and a great speaker is the pause.”

It’s not about you. The audience members are listening to you because of something they want. Remember that. You are not there to look good or sound smart. You are there to serve the listener. So practice until you’re smooth and then forget yourself and be there for them.