Zugunruhe: Helping great people get [good] things done: Zoog.un.roo.ee

Be Nice

How many times did your mom ever tell you: “Be nice.” Just be nice. Seems easy. Ludicrously simple. Not so fast, my friend!

At the recent Wharton Leadership Conference  (Wharton being one of the most prestigious management and business schools in the US), one of the keynote speakers was there to tell the gathering that a key leadership concept is…stand back, drum roll: Be Nice.

Actually, Steve Harrison (chair of Lee Hecht Harrison) puts it a little differently. He says “be decent.” Decency, Harrison explained, creates a layer of protection around companies that cushions them from hard times and difficult circumstances, inside and out.

Harrison talked about something referred to as the “two minute schmooze.” In his example, this quick interaction was came about when his COO pointed out that he, Harrison, hadn’t greeting the receptionist. I don’t know about you, but I have an allergic reaction to the word “schmooze.” To me, schmoozing is something fake and inauthentic. Being nice is only one part of the equation. It takes more. It takes mindful attention. The real deal is cultivating an attitude that sees, hears, believes--one that is attentive and fully present. An attitude that cares.

Last week, I talked about my “customer service” experience with “Julie.” Has Julie’s boss’ boss ever been down to the call center? Actually answered a call? Doubtful. That would require a massive amount of ego strength. What would such an act demonstrate? That the big boss really cares about the customers, cares about the people interacting with the customers, knows what’s going on at the front lines. Damn. That’s more than “nice.” That’s light years from schmoozing. That’s leadership.

So the next time you’re wondering what’s the most cutting edge idea being taught at the best leadership academies in the world, now you know. Now, go be nice to your mom. She knew it all along.

Who is paying attention?

A couple of days ago, I had to call my insurance company. After the usual long wait on hold (at least the music was Bach), a “customer service representative” came on the line. Let’s call her “Julie.”

I told Julie what I wanted. She answered in a voice that is best described as toneless. Not unpleasant, just toneless. She sounded like a machine. I asked questions. She continued to respond in this very smooth, toneless voice. While it is true that she told me something I didn’t want to hear, that’s not why I got more and more frustrated and increasingly pissed off. It was that toneless voice, the clear communication that she was not in any way connected or caring. Customer service, my ass.

What I didn’t ask, and should have, was “Julie, do you find that people get mad at you a lot?” I suspect the answer is yes. That’s almost certainly why Julie has adopted a seamless tone: it’s a defense mechanism to fend off people’s anger. It ain’t working. By communicating to the customer that she is remote, uncaring, and genuinely unhelpful, she’s doing more than making customers angry. She’s hurting her company.

I recently started reading a book called Breakway: Deliver Value to Your Customers--Fast by Charles Fred. Fred describes receiving a handwritten note from one of his frontline guys, a network tech named Kyle. Kyle had just received the company’s nice, shiny new “problem solving” training. What Kyle succinctly pointed out was that he didn’t need problem solving training, he needed was specific training to solve a specific problem. He wrote, “Our biggest problem…is knowing how to install these new remote terminals…but the only training we get is this problem-solving crap.” Yes, it was true that people in Fred’s company needed help with problem solving. The biggest problem to be solved was paying attention to what the real problem was.

Julie undoubtedly knows that customers are going to get upset when they’re told that the care provider that just sent the huge bill with all the denied charges on it was not a “preferred provider.” People are going to be unhappy when they learn that they’re saddled with a huge bill and absolutely no way to appeal to their insurance company. I’m sure she’s received lots of training in the policies and rules and how to use her computer terminal. She may have even received communication training. Has anyone ever paid attention to what the real problem is? Like that it’s hurtful when people get mad at you over and over all day long? How do you solve that one? Julie decided to get very remote.

I wonder when was the last time, if ever, that a CEO called his or her own customer service call center and asked a question like I did. There are lots of people in Julie’s company who are trying to solve some big problems like rising costs, lack of customer satisfaction, and employee turnover in their customer service division. Who, I wonder, is paying attention? Does anyone know what the problem is? All they have to do to find out is ask Julie.

Why won’t anybody just listen?

Ever had that feeling? Like you just wanted somebody to listen. Not tell you what to do. Not give you a set of solutions or a pep talk. Just listen, plain and simple.

The other day my husband was talking about a situation he’s going through. I got indignant on his behalf, mad at the person he was talking about, really vocal, too. What was actually needed was for me to shut up and listen but my emotions got the best of me. I wasn’t especially mindful; I didn’t listen very well.

You remember that old nursery rhyme? “For want of a nail, the horse was lost…” So it is with listening: For want a listener, a symptom is overlooked. For want of a symptom, a diagnosis is missed. For want a diagnosis, a treatment is skipped. For a want a treatment, the patient is lost…all for the want of a listener. You could substitute words for marriages, businesses, relationships, jobs, you name it--the result would be the same.

Laveranues Coles’ life was changed by someone who just listened. When Coles was a teenager, he got into a fight at school. My guess is the cop who questioned Coles about the fight had a strong gut feeling that there was something else going on with the young man. In any event, the cop not only listened to what his gut told him but also listened to Coles long enough to discover that the boy was being sexually abused by his step-father.

What’s remarkable about Coles’ story is not just that the police officer listened. But that the police officer listened in spite of Coles’ insistence that he had nothing to say. Coles himself didn’t recognize that he needed someone to listen. It’s probably not an exaggeration to say that the officer’s willingness to persist in listening saved Coles’ life.

Sometimes we don’t even know that we need someone to listen to us. Yet a ready and willing listener can be a safety net, a sanctuary, the solution to a fill a need we didn’t even know we had. Just ask Laveranues Coles, abuse survivor, wide receiver for the New York Jets. For want of that listener, who knows what his fate might have been?

Get accountable

Accountability is a word that gets thrown around a lot. What does it really mean? In essence, being accountable means doing what you say you’re going to do, when you say you’re going to do it. Accountability begins with a commitment.

Often, people are really good at taking on commitments. Which is to say, it’s very easy to say ‘yes’ when opportunity rolls around. Unfortunately, ‘yes’ is often the answer because ‘no’ is an uncomfortable or unacceptable response. Enough yeses and too few no’s, and you wind up overcommitted. That creates stress while you run around trying to keep up or worse, you stop meeting the commitments you’ve made which creates its own set of problems.

The key to making and keeping commitments is actually pretty simple. First, you recognize requests or interactions that generate actions. Then you decide what to do with those possible actions. If there is a person behind the request, you’ve got several choices: yes, no, counter-offer are three popular ones. But you can also ask for time to think or give a response based on contingency (yes, if…). It’s useful to remember that many (most?) requests don’t show up explicitly as such--they show up as hints, asides, or unvoiced expectations. Knowing a request when you see one is an important skill to cultivate. When in doubt, ask if there’s an underlying request on the table.

When it comes to working with others, most of us are too good at making commitments and pretty good at keeping them. The place where people tend to fall down is making and keeping commitments to themselves. This is where accountability can go from a buzzword to a powerful tool.

If you’ve ever had a coach, you know that accountability is at the heart of coaching. It’s the fuel that keeps the fire under the client’s butt to keep them in action. That’s because when a commitment is made to a witness follow through becomes more likely. Being accountable to someone else is easy, natural. The obstacle a lot of  people face is being accountable to themselves.

There are several ways around the tendency to let yourself down. You can find someone with whom to keep track of your personal commitments (a coach, a friend, your spouse). Another possibility, and one of my person favorites, is a checklist. I’m a fan of printing handy checklists on labels for my paper-based calendar. My daily tracking list includes keeping an eye on my weight, exercise, and walking the dog (who despite his deep desire, still has not learned to mind-meld with me). Just seeing those blanks on my daily checklist makes me want to keep my promises so I can check stuff off. Strength training? Check. Aerobic exercise: check. Walk the dog: check. 

If you want to cultivate trust and build a reputation for great follow through, you’ll need to get good at recognizing requests, develop a ninja-like flexibility for responding to demands, and create a simple but powerful way to keep up with what you’ve said you’ll do and by when. If you want to get good at making and commitments to yourself, you’ll need to create accountability in a way that is as natural as falling off a log and as gentle as a nudge on your elbow when it’s time to get the leash.

Archery and the Art of Leadership

"The archer ceases to be conscious of himself as the one who is engaged in hitting the bull's-eye which confronts him. This state of unconscious is realized only when, completely empty and rid of the self, he becomes one with the perfecting of his technical skill…"--Eugen Herrigel, author Zen and the Art of Archery
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Survival of the fittest. Adapt or die. This is a familiar idea and if you’re in the business world, it might be stated as: evolve or get fired. In a recent article for Knowledge@Wharton, leadership expert David Nadler talked about the necessity for change--internal change--that makes or breaks the tenure of CEOs and other high level personnel.

The term of a CEO, says Nadler, has a “natural arc,” like that of an arrow. When hired, there are a set of circumstances facing the leader. Presumably, the person is brought on because he or she possesses a special set of skills that are uniquely well suited to the current context. For a while, then, all is well since the CEO is doing what he or she does best. But then circumstances change…

Nadler uses the example of Carly Florina, the now ex-CEO of HP. She handily solved one set of problems but when faced with other issues, which required her to modify her approach, she failed to adapt. And went down in an especially impressive display of pyrotechnics. In his book Good to Great, Jim Collins describes several leaders who took a different route, adapting and evolving as their companies followed a trajectory upward. Nadler provided the example of E. Stanley O'Neal at Merrill Lynch. O’Neal navigated the stormy waters just after 9/11 and once smooth sailing commenced, proceeded to adapt his team and leadership to the new context with admirable success.

The difference between leaders who evolve successfully and those that don't, Nadler contends, is that the former know how to stay in the moment and remain mindful of changing conditions and circumstances. The failed leaders suffer from what Nadler calls a “learning disability,” the refusal to listen to those around them and a lack of real-time vision.

The lesson here seems clear. To be a great archer, or a leader with true staying power, you must reside in a state of mindfulness, fully present. As the author of Zen and the Art of Archery might put it, the leader must let go of being self-conscious and in effect, forget him or herself instead, focusing on perfecting the art of leadership. Then, the natural arc will realize the target.

Practice Acknowledgement

“There are two things people want more than sex and money... recognition and praise.”--Mary Kay Ash (founder of Mary Kay cosmetics)

When was the last time someone acknowledged you? Noticed something about you that was really true, genuine, authentic? Something about you as person, your inner character. Straining to remember?

You’re not alone. Recognition, acknowledgement, appreciation are in short supply. Especially in the work place. Year after year, surveys show that the one thing that American workers are most dissatisfied with is how they are treated. People feel ignored and unappreciated.

Part of the problem may be that folks are simply not taught how to give acknowledgement. So first, a definition. Acknowledgement is expressing something about who a person is, what their strengths are, or a way in which that person positively impacted or contributed to others. Acknowledgement is not praise for an accomplishment--that’s a different skill, the skill of appreciation (which can include praise).

To give acknowledgement, it’s useful to think about who the person is, what their strengths may be, and how they stand out. To hone in on something to acknowledge, rely on what is true for you and about the person whom you wish to recognize. You might aim for something that you might tell about someone but rarely tell the person directly.

When I practice the skill of acknowledgement as a coach, I often preface my words with “what I know about you is…” This signals that I am speaking from a position of honesty and authenticity. It’s crucial that when you give an acknowledgement that you aren’t making something up. If you give a canned acknowledgement, the recognition will fall flat. On the other hand, when you recognize something that is real, you’ll notice that the person being acknowledged really perks up. It’s a bit like hearing someone speak your name from across a crowded room: it gets your attention and rings true.

The next time you have a chance, acknowledge someone who is important to you. It can be your spouse, a co-worker, a friend. Tell them how they contribute to you. We all know that life is short. There has never been a better time to recognize someone. Do it today.

Normal accidents

In the wake of the horrifying collapse of the interstate bridge in Minnesota this week, lots of people are asking why. Last night, Nancy Grace of CNN (who is anything but graceful) demanded to know “who to blame.” However, asking why and casting blame are rarely useful and often completely pointless. Additionally, despite our desire to believe otherwise, events like this one are actually normal, expected,  and inevitable. Large accidents, while rare, are part of an predictable cascade of events, the entropy that all systems suffer from as they lurch toward decay. Collapses like the I-35W bridge are the result of an array of parts and forces, a complex interaction of metal fatigue, time, and motion.

Charles Perrow, author of Normal Accidents, pointed all this out over twenty years ago. As Laurence Gonzales put it when he summarized Perrow’s conclusions, “…accidents are made up of conditions, judgments, and acts or events that would be inconsequential by themselves. Unless they are coupled in just the right way and with the right timing, they pass unnoticed.” While the transportation engineers shake their heads and grieve over signs they may have missed, the fact remains that bridges are impermanent structures.

To say that a particular aspect of a structure might fail and cause an entire bridge to collapse is paradoxically counterfactual and completely accurate all at once. There are literally thousands of bridges all over the world that possess their own symptoms of corrosion and carry the germs of their ultimate demise. Every single bridge the world over has a non-zero probably of failure--which is to stay, it might drop unexpectedly. And yet most don’t and won’t.

In the end, tragedy, like human suffering, is part of our universal condition. There is no why. There are no convenient scapegoats on which to heap blame. All complex systems (human society, bridges, space shuttles) are prey to what physicist Per Bak called the sand pile effect. Like sand in an hour glass, systems settle at some steady state just this side of the brink of collapse. Mountains do this, so does everything else. Boulders remain stationary, then roll without warning, having finally passed the threshold of balance. Tiny pebbles that tumble down beforehand are actually tiny systems failures that indicate that gravity and time are behind the scenes, rearranging molecules and plotting the leveling of massive peaks.

The collapse of the I35W bridge was a known risk. It was predictable although no one, save God, could tell how or why or when. And no one ever will.

Who’s in charge here?

Priming, the way that unconscious suggestions may affect people’s behavior, has gotten a lot of attention lately. A recent article from the NY Times summarized many of the recent findings in this fascinating area of study.

Researchers from Yale recently reported that even temperature can pay a role. In one study, researchers pretended to be loaded down with several items including either a cup of hot or iced coffee. The subjects were handed the cup in an innocuous way--the researcher asked for some help carrying the items to another location. The folks that carried the cold coffee later rated a nonexistent person that they read about as “less social and more selfish.” People that carried the hot java weren’t so critical.

Here’s one of the key points from the NY Times piece:

"In several studies, researchers have also shown that, once covertly activated, an unconscious goal persists with the same determination that is evident in our conscious pursuits. Study participants primed to be cooperative are assiduous in their teamwork, for instance, helping others and sharing resources in games that last 20 minutes or longer. Ditto for those set up to be aggressive."

The researchers insist that you can’t prime yourself. They say that the suggestions have to seep into your unconscious mind. However, this work suggests that you can set yourself up to meet your goals by planting the right sorts of suggestions around yourself. When the sticky note on your mirror that says “Exercise!” no longer grabs your attention, your unconscious knows its there. Likewise, when your mood suddenly goes sour, you may be responding to a clue you weren’t aware of.

But if you’re wondering who’s in charge, just remember that subconscious or not--it’s you.